OF OLD , FAT AND UGLY MEN

I am a sensitive soul. It is a fact. My friends will attest to this.  So, when in the recent past a certain series of incidents took place , I must admit to have been shaken by them. And the fact that , they took place on the same day , I suppose is too significant to be dismissed as mere coincidence ,rather it looks like a cosmic conspiracy , designed specifically , to be insensitive of my sensibilities and to push me into a depression of sorts.. You might say , that I suffer from delusions of grandeur . I must admit , you are not very far from the truth when you say that , however , allow me to relate these incidents to you , and then may be you can decide for yourself , whether or not I am wrong in feeling the way I am.

On that fateful day , I was in Hyderabad. We had concluded a meeting earlier in the evening. Me and a colleague of mine , who also happens to be a good friend – we were getting bored in the hotel we were put up at. And we were thinking of something to do. Not being the wildly, imaginative types , we promptly landed up at one of those shopping mall cum multiplex thingies in the city. And that , I suppose , was the fatal mistake. It was the first one , in what was to be a series of bad decisions that day. Now that I look back at it , it all seems almost predestined.  Anyways , we landed up at that place. And we decided to check out the movies that were on show. That happened to be the second mistake. As we were standing a little away from the ticket counter , checking out the posters , and the small screens upon which they display the movies and the show timings , it happened.

There was this young person . I estimate her to be around 20 years of age. She was good looking . She had been loitering around the ticket counter for a while. I noticed her . She looked at me. We looked at each other for a while. Then  I looked away and started looking at the posters again. After a while , I noticed that she was looking at me again. It is always a pleasant sensation to have good looking girls , look at you , and if they look at you for more than a 15-20 seconds , it is even better. So I smiled at her. She smiled back , and started walking towards me. Us , actually , as my friend was also present. Now this was totally unexpected . I am not used to girls looking at me for more than 15 seconds , and I am definitely not used  to having , good looking stranger girls , walking up to me voluntarily of their own accord.  She came nearer , within talking distance. She was still smiling. And I must admit , I was feeling really pleasant. The world was my home , and I loved all human beings. And then , the reverie was shattered.

“Uncle , Uncle , I have two extra tickets for Inception. My friends did not turn up , would you want to buy them from me please.” , she said.

I don’t think I was so cold to any body before in the past , nor will I put on such an icy demeanor for anyone in the future.

The way I said “No,  thank you” , would have been enough to chill the bones of even the warmest of persons. And that’s what I did.

***********************************************************************************

I was justifiably depressed after this incident. My good friend , who was witness to this incident , was trying hard not to laugh. An icy glare fixed all that.

Seeing that I was indeed depressed , he suggested a “Retail Therapy” , as he called it. In other words , we decided to go shopping , as  even the very idea of watching the movie Inception , was painful now.

And this turned out to be the second fatal mistake.

We walked into one of the branded jeans stores , to buy a pair of jeans for myself.

“What is you  size sir?” , the attendant asked.

“Err.. 34 , I think” , I said.

The attendant looked suspiciously skeptical.

“Should I take a measurement sir ,?”  , he asked , in a tone which suggested an incredible mixture of politeness and sarcasm.

At this point , I decided to bring back , the icy glare into action.

“No “, I said ,”I am sure it is 34. I will try it out.”

10 minutes later , I came out of the trial room , huffing and puffing ,with the effort , to put on a jeans that was several sizes too small . Needless to say it wouldn’t fit.

I sheepishly asked the attendant to take a measurement now.

He smiled . At that point , I wanted to knock him down cold so badly.

He proceeded to take the measurements , and said , “Sir , it is 3- “, in a loud voice.

I wanted to forcefully close his mouth , so as to muffle his voice.

“So” , I said , “give me a jeans that size”

“I am sorry sir , we don’t deal in jeans that size.” , he said , and then helpfully added , “why don’t you try Brand X. You know , these sizes are different for different brands . I am not sure , but may be you will get something.”

I walked out of the shop in a huff.

***********************************************************************************************

I looked at my friend. He was not laughing this time. I was really depressed now. So I asked him, “ Do I really look that old , and am I really that fat.?”

He looked at me and said , “ You know , how does it matter ? It does not at all matter if you are old or fat or ugly .”

“Ugly “, I was shocked. ,”Who said anything about ugly? What do you mean?” , I asked.

“I mean , I was just saying “, he said sheepishly.

No body , no body should have to endure all of this on a single day.

Advertisements

About srikal

Confused,Unsure, Bored , Faithless and Cynical...

Posted on August 20, 2010, in LIFE. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Are you really that fat and ugly???

  2. I vaguely remember this day though the comments attributed to your friend arent quite true !! But did the therapy work at the end of the day ..?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: